how a Balkan girl found peace
necemo rat! we don’t want war.
summer 1991. summer school holidays. Scorpions just published their ‘Winds of Change’. we were singing it in the streets, rejecting war. me, more naive today than back then. we, a generation of believers, a nation of jokers, brimming over with life, were convinced that nothing will ever disturb the peace of our land, that our houses are our homes. that our life will continue as before.
little did we know that soon our innocence was going to be stolen, our houses burned, brothers and fathers killed, masses relocated and land torn in pieces.
‘did you go to the theatre when you were in school?’ a friend recently asked me. ‘no, my friend. we had drama at home every day. live. for real.’
life was never the same again.
if you are a 90ties kid from the Balkans, you know what I am talking about.
lf you lived where peace collapsed, you know what I am talking about.
if you are a super sensitive Soul, you know what I am talking about.
for years it didn’t take much to irritate me in a way that I felt remote-controlled.
totally numb to disastrous news, it took me years to start feeling again.
meanwhile, I think I found my balance to view a ‘crisis’ as it is and turn off all that doesn’t belong there. to understand the greater manipulations and see things as they are.
media is a sucker. people are paid to create fear, speculate and share truths that are not theirs. turn it off. what needs to reach you, will. you won’t miss a thing, in any way.
sugar, coffee, bread are no goes for me, they really wind me up. with a change to conscious lifestyle, I try to eat food from the soil, taking in the sweetness of Mamma Earth and being nourished on all levels.
it’s when I am in nature that I feel connected to myself. it’s less that I am in nature, I am nature, knowing that I am part of it. I feel part of it and so the trees, birds, soil, leaves clouds, rivers… reassure me that all will be fine. that I am safe.
one of the first when things shake up: I walk barefoot. occasionally when things are really rough, I lay on the ground with my belly. feeling how my belly button is diving deeper with every in-breath, my cheek resting and listening to Mamma Earth re-assuring that she is holding me.
I trust in the power of Yoga. Yoga was not my solution for everything, but every time I needed a solution Yoga was there. get into some deep restorative postures, allow your breath to calm and your nervous system to cool down. thing will not be different afterwards, but you’ll perceive them in another way.
if someone told me that I’d sit on the floor one day, meditating, I would have invited them to another Sljivovica. our home made plum brandy… truth enhancer – Balkan style. yet, Meditation did a profound cleansing of my heart and mind. I practice Transcendental Meditation, which became popular through the Beatles, but ultimately there is no right or better meditation. find what suits you best. it can be walking like Thich Nhat Hahn, shaking like Ratu Bagus’, counting beads or sitting in stillness.
if you are not familiar with any conscious breathing technique: place your hands on your belly. connect with your breath. simply follow the inhalation and exhalation. there will be a series of simple breathing techniques soon
for years it was not safe to say that I am scared. nobody had time and patience for my sensitivity at home. what I value most in my life now is that I have created a healthy network with people all over the globe. heart connections that are allowing me to share my feelings and memories. be it eye gazing or hugs, simple touches or sitting in silence. no expectations. no judgement. receiving nothing but support to get over it.
trust in myself, the people around me and those far away. trusting that consciousness will rise and people will live to their highest purpose.
… it took me several months to write this article as it kept on stirring in old wounds. each time I sat in front of the screen tears started puddling in my eyes and I had to pause.
this article doesn’t serve as as base for political discussions. it is not intended to differentiate religions, belief systems or any politics.
my intention is to show you that unrest can happen suddenly. anywhere. anyhow. but peace is wherever you go. but it’s firstly to be found within.
from this perception, wherever you look… you will find peace.