there are regular inquiries in my inbox from people who carry personal issues with them and need some kind of support. this will be often women, but also men ask for advise and express their wish to understand better.

I am honoured when people find the courage to share such delicate and personal topics with me. some of them talk about it for the first time in their lives.

their requests are substantial and it requires from me to go in fully. I have to open up to this personal topic. to have a safe and good standing position. to be fully committed to this person and their demand. offer my full presence.
instead of a quick and superficial: ‘YES’ and ‘NO’ answer – allowing both of us to to open up to a dialogue.

one hour of deep, purposeful work gives me the opportunity to create the space for you to see what exactly it is that you are looking for. what the purpose is, the roots of the issue. sometimes it is enough for me to listen to your breath and understand you better.
you, in return, have the opportunity to respond openly to my questions – a natural state when people open up to work together.

when I offer such a personal coaching session, many disappear again.
I can imagine what the reason might be.
but ultimately I do not understand.

Here are some thoughts.
I receive your life experience honourably and with the greatest respect for what you lived through.
even after we have parted, nothing remains of the shared in my memory.
neither in my head, or in my database.

in submitting your request, I’d like you to read it consider following:

first of all, I would like to be asked for consent whether I’d like to read all that you are writing me. nobody has the time to rummage through unsolicited emails with personal problems. I have to read through each one to see if it’s something that affects me or Yoni Egg Rocks at all.

something like: hey friend xxx, I have an issue. do you have a few minutes for me?

then I’ll be more precise and ask exactly what I want from the person.

something like: it’s about topic ###. do you have any advice for me? have you ever heard of it? do you know a specialist? would you hug me? I need chocolate.

If there is no girlfriend, I’d turn to a specialist. If I don’t know if she is familiar with the subject, I ask.

something like: I have this situation. can I get an appointment so we can look at it together?

this specialist then usually replies: I know about that, or that is not my area of expertise, and in turn, names her abilities in every detail, or sends me to another specialist.

when this person tells me their rate, I respond by deciding whether it is worth it or not. ideally, I also communicate that.

something like: I would love to, but my budget is modest now. or the price is ok. or I will think about it. I will be in touch next week.

Alternatively, of course, one can fall into a grudge with the person who clearly defines their boundaries of friendship, time or space or be in an Ugh!-like state.

“you do not have time for me, but for YouTube videos you find time. it does not seem important to you. I do not have time for a session because I am too busy. I delete you now as my contact. I’ll leave your facebook Group.”
sometimes that is a bit exhilarating, at times quite daunting.

Of course, there are many factors that can play in …

  • someone has entrusted something very personal.
  • there is a lot of own uncertainty with the topic.
  • the situation is subject to conditioning.
  • you never spoke about this before.
  • Ideally, you wanted to be rescued immediately.
  • you are already dealing with rejection all your life.
  • why should you do something for yourself?
  • your own decisions have never been encouraged.
  • you have no budget.
  • one is surprised that people on social media also have a regular life.
  • you are shocked when people want to be paid for a service they provide. .

sometimes it really makes me feel strange, when such an interesting situation arises.
personally, I still think the best solutions come when working together.

I’ll always do my best to support to people in any given situation. but I expect more than a few dropped words, that I should put myself together like a jigsaw.

there is so much potential in this courageous step opening up to others.
it’s like an ignition that could release a big, warm fire.
to initiate the fire of transformation that gives birth to new things.
instead, a bucket of water is dumped over it, with the ‘please-I-do-not-want to-grow’-potential.

my advice to all seekers …
let’s see if we can find some way to walk this path fully and completely.

so far, there have been many miracles of this kind in my life. I too have reached my limits over and over again.
I stood in front of a wall and did not see any further.
courageously I asked for support.

it is not always easy. it’s definitely worth it.

with love.
and courage.

yours,

Violeta Labella

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