the weight of my friends statement was heavily crawling through the phone. it was not pleasent remembering those times when I found no fulfillment in my intimate life.

I had completely misunderstood what the reason could be. and with the years of practice I found that ‘greatest’ challenge that keeps on repeating itself in our sex life.

we don’t live a life directed towards pleasure.

somehow that is that expectation that this needs to happen on command. like throwing money in a slot, choosing a program and it will roll out. it will meet the level, fit the intensity because of course it also arrived at the right moment. only Amazon could do better with a direct delivery to the doorstep.

sensuality and lust are not only reserved for sex or playing with your partner. this pure joie de vivre – is not connected to a person or holds them responsible.

it is also not limited to that particular moment of togetherness or to a specific time with the partner, to a suitable time frame or a well known process. let alone the fitting of a perfect opportunity to make love.

lust is only focused on the moment itself.

I can experience sensuality in every moment. it arises from my slowdown and willingness to connect with a tiny part of creation.

the origin of that creation could be the touch of the earth while walking, feeling the wind on my skin, admirimg the delicacy of a flower, the reluctantly dancing strand of my hair, marveling at the intensity of the sunset, listening to the sound of flowing water or even a mindful touch.

I’m connected to that moment.
there is only this ‘here and now’.
worshipping in full presence.

in all of this I’ll see joy or lust. if I pay enough attention to that breath. if I keep my senses open for what I feel, it will convert into a loving splendor. the experience that has no intention in this moment, but to feel pleasure, which gives me the opportunity to dive deeper.
like the exploration of a little child in awe that is not aware of the surroundings and completely focuses only on this what it is doing.

turn off the mind for a short time.
the where, what, why, who,…? let go.
surrender to what is given.
experience limitless love.

an experience without plan and purpose.
the sensation without judgment.
perception without goal.

in this state my body can experience pleasure and joy as ecstasy, forming an ecstatic flow of energy through my body.
my heart becomes light and opens up.
my radiance can pull my partner in, spark people around me.

only if I myself am a diver, I will be able to dive into the ocean of pleasure. only then can I find my buddy, who holds my back in this immense nothingness, explores the vastness.

only when I have explored the depth of my own sensations, climbed the heights of pleasure, only then can I experience them with someone else.

now look at you.
at this very moment.
did you stop breathing?
rattles your head?
are you caught in your thoughts?
analyzing my writing?
are you judging?

or did you listen to my sensations while reading?
have you absorbed the tenderness of my words?

try it in the next few days. leave the past and future behind and stay in the moment. surrender to the fascination of discovery and wonder.

for a life in pleasure.


Violeta Labella

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