“I don’t want to change you too much, I might want to spend less time with you if you don’t bla bla”…
a long mail, wrapped in fairy floss, with a hint of politeness.
I read these words. they sound like a black hole… or a great opportunity to look within.
whenever invited to look inside, I gladly take the journey.
it travel back in time.
getting to sweet 17 when my parents told me the same, and I left my nest. I travel back to people who tried to scare me by being cut out of their life.
since I’ve been on the road, it’s soon 20 years… every few months I bid farewell to friends. houses, men, places, lovers, cuddles, jobs. I’ve given away most of my belongings. I had to leave the cutest dog on this planet behind.
the more I let go, the easier it becomes.
the more I let go, the more I disconnect from harmful relationships.
the more I let go, the more space opens for new ones.
the lighter I feel the more I understand that my stability comes from my own inner power.
and this power tells me… no, shouts out:
STOP THE THREATENING!
one more detail of importance. it is not about dumping, disappearing and silently dissolving. creating a situation of nothinness …
it is about going for distance when someone conditions a connection or threatens to let go of you.
it shouldn’t come as a surprise for them, as they already created the distance with their words and deeds.
everyone should be accepted and loved for the way they are. everybody respected for what they feel and dream of.
and when invited next to be erased from someone’s list of friends… I happily say: PLEASE DO SO.
if you feel that this is what you want, disconnect.
I understand this as a consequence of me being me.
I still honour your views.
if my authenticity is too much for you, then please let go.
I feel that each one receives a tiny little piece of me. everyone who I am allowed to spend time with is blessed,… in the same way as I am.
we always have a choice.