dating apps have arrived in society. and suddenly we are only a swipe away from our dream partner.

‘Violeta, I really appreciate your opinion,’ said a friend. ‘what should I do?’ there was some money involved. he wanted to invest in Tinder. ‘this very new thing, never been there before.’
Intended: from the traveler to the traveler (i.e. people of my kind) or mobile people – to easy find like minded folks who also happened to be nearby. meeting them was generally not impossible in our time of mobility, but it is certainly became a challenge in our fast paced life-and-travel-style-when-people-don’t-lift-their-head-from-screens.

to me it sounded like something with a lot of potential. and his investment seemed safe among the group of young founders.

‘I think you are one of the best testers for the beta version, would you?’ I was petrified. MEEEEEEEE … test something like that? No way…

that was about 10 years ago.
tinder has ever since served me in different situations. to find models for my photos, men for my final exams, guinea pigs for male Yoni Egg practices, cool locals in new places, to better understand my own attraction to men, to create clarity in my own written words, to look interesting enough despite not-wanting-to-mate-photos, and also to clearly express my lovemaking-desires.

it also helped me to suffocate the loneliness that I found myself in when I returned to Germany after nearly 2 decades of worldwide travels – with almost nothing from my Balinese community and hardly any human connection. dating guys was to compensate for this inner emptiness.

and … did I mention that some of my best friendships in my new surrounding happened to be by tinder?

I will spare you from all experiences and not write you everything that happened to me. hilarious, outrageous, sad, unsettling… yet I do want to share with you one of the most wonderful moments. it was just recent.

for various reasons my profile was active without text. otherwise I always write specifically what I am looking for. I explain it as per situation and without hesitation.

there will be those who have no idea what I’m talking about.
and then there will be those who understand.
yes, in fact there were occasionally men who wanted to do dip-in a bit. these can be recognized quickly and they are not interesting enough for me.

so, in general, I’ve met some great men. especially a few days ago in Thailand.

he and I had just got in touch when I went down with food poisoning. life knocked me out. I was living hyperventilating levels of joy and probably it was the best not to breathe in too much of the super polluted air around me in Chiang Mai. it was petrifying.

so it shot upwards and downwards, my body getting weaker and weaker. the staff in my hotel become increasingly incapable of supporting me. to receive a bottle of water required up to 4 calls at the front desk. each bottle 10 Euros of roaming costs.
I’m dehydrating. my sense of patience being massaged in a pretty rough style.

my Tinder Match asked right at the beginning if he could do anything for me. and I hesitated. I didn’t know anyone else here and hoped to be in good hands with my hosts.

at some point, after days of anger and hopelessness, I grabbed my courage by its hand. I asked him to bring me coconuts and hand them in at the reception.

then he asked if he could visit me, and if I needed anything else. I only imagined how my liquids left the body like a fountain when he arrived. it was a NO.

now there are 2 coconuts in front of my door every day. by an unknown man. that I’ve never given money to. who knows nothing about me, except that I shoot everything out that comes into me. he doesn’t even suspect that I can do the same with Yoni Eggs.

you can take these generalized descriptions as you like. fuck app, tool to find your prince charming, way of getting friendship with benefits, free BDSM practice…

for me this experience has confirmed again:

  • <3 I have to be clear about what I want
  • <3 I will always get what I need
  • <3 it might not be what I anticipated though
  • <3 my clear NO, also is a NO
  • <3 my clear YES is the door opener for new experiences

Until next time!

with <3


Violeta Labella