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Can you guess what I am?
I wear a hood. I hide and blush with shyness. To tame me, you have to approach me delicately.
My name is…
Clitoris.
Oh yes… we are diving into a clitoral discovery tour today. Figuratively, and literally, if you’d like.
The only function and purpose of the clitoris is to feel pleasure. It serves no other purpose whatsoever – and I think that warrants a little celebration and a long blog post.
An ancient story
According to Greek mythology, the prophet Tiresias was harassing a pair of mating snakes when Hera decided to transform him into a woman as a ‘punishment’. After he had lived in this form for seven years, she changed him back. Later, when asked by Hera and Zeus to settle an argument over which sex had the most pleasure during intercourse – Hera thought men; Zeus thought women – Tiresias replied, “Women. Definitely women”. For this impertinence, Hera struck him blind.
Tiresias may have been just poking some fun at the almighty Gods. Or, having spent seven years as a woman, he may have had a better understanding than most of that nerve-rich female pleasure center – THE CLITORIS.
Throughout history, the clitoris has been lost, found, and lost again. We just don’t seem to be able to keep track of it. But why is that?
First off, the clitoris is not just some ‘pea-sized nub’. It might surprise you to discover that around 90 percent of the clitoris’ bulk lies beneath the surface. Though all clitoris sizes differ from the outside – there are many “types” of clitoris – on the inside, there’s so much more going on.
With 8000 nerve endings – something unlike any other male or female body part – the clit truly deserves the title ‘Queen of Joy and Pleasure’.
What’s a clitoris? And where is your clitoris?
Here’s everything you need to know about the anatomy of the clitoris!
The clitoris is a sprawling underground kingdom of crackling nerves and blood-pumping vessels. Meaning that the location of the clitoris goes much deeper than most of us realize!
Underneath the nub – scientifically known as the glans clitoris – the clitoris shape is similar to a plump wishbone that encircles the vagina. It has arms that reach up to nine centimeters into the pelvis. To give you a better idea, in its entirety the clit reaches almost all the way to our sitting bones. All of the parts that rest beneath the surface are made of erectile tissue, meaning they swell with blood when aroused to become even bigger.
Every woman has a different Pearl of Pleasure – as it was called in Asia centuries ago. But every ‘pea-sized nub’ is brimming with connections. The clitoris is intimately entwined with all of the pelvic structures around it, including the urethra, the vagina and the labia.
The clitoris could be compared to an iceberg – a luscious, juicy, throbbing iceberg. It’s 10 times bigger than what most think, and it boasts two to three times as many nerve endings as the penis.
So what does the clitoris look like? Here’s a diagram of the clitoris to show you!
And did you know that women can have clitoris erections during arousal, just like men? An erect clitoris is a happy clitoris. When the clitoris is not erect, it sits in its flaccid state. Pretty impressive hey? And its shape – part penguin, part insect, part spaceship – is a marvel that can only be appreciated in 3D.
The ancient Chinese described the clitoris as ‘a precious pearl on the Jade steps’. I know my clitoris loooooves this description of it and high quality Nephrite Jade just happens to be one of the precious materials we are using.
It’s no accident that the origin for the word ‘clitoris’ in Greek is ‘key’ or ‘kleitoris’ – meaning door-tender. The clitoris could be considered the starting point of pleasure, but should not be reduced to it. When you forget to stimulate the clitoris of a woman, or approach it too quickly or harshly, the unavoidable consequence is that she will have to wait a long time for her orgasm – if it comes at all!
In short – do not neglect the clitoris. As well as being the center of all pleasure, the clitoris is also one reason that sex is an incredibly important and health-boosting practice.
So, what’s the best way to stimulate the clitoris
Let’s dive into how to stimulate the clitoris!
1. Approach with caution
The number one best way to stimulate the clitoris is with great care and a gentle approach.
Now, before you go and get wild with your clitoris, may I remind you that it is very sensitive and therefore cannot be approached with hard, ample strokes – much like what penises require at times. The clitoris prefers a delicate, modulated touch when being caressed – the kind of gentle touch which is not practiced by many humans.
2. Make a date of it
Another difficulty arises due to the variety of zones that produce pleasure as well as variations of touch and rhythm. No two women are alike when considering pleasure from this point of view. Lovemaking should never happen in a rush. To ensure that great care is taken over your female lover and her clitoris, take your time or, better yet, make a date of it.
This goes for self-pleasure too… or, dedicate some time for a Yoni Massage!
3. Use a variety of different touches
Circling, tapping, tugging, and rolling are all great techniques to play with. Stroking the entire glandular area is a beautiful way to welcome all of a woman into her pleasure.
Circle the tip of the clitoris with the tip of your finger to stimulate arousal. Try moving from smaller circles to larger ones.
Vary the pressure from a feather-light touch to pushing down harder.
The sensitivity of the clitoris, the pressure of caressing, and the rhythm of touch could be discovered by exploring the clitoris. You can look for signs of how you or your partner reacts: through breath, sounds, moans, words, moves – these will show you the intensity of the pleasure you/she feels. Also look out for a lack of reaction signifying the absence of sensations, discomfort, or the clitoris hurting. Pain in the clitoris is something that should be avoided at all costs – an irritated clitoris is an unhappy clitoris.
4. Ask your lover what she likes
A simple but advanced technique is to simply ask your partner what she likes. If she struggles to answer, know that you just have a bit more experimenting to do. Playing with the clitoris is half of the fun!
Clitoral masturbation is a great way to discover what you like so that you can share this information with your partner.
Not to mention the best Yoni Eggs on the planet are a wonderful way to explore touch and your sensual self. After all, the sensitive clitoris deserves the highest-quality objects… If you want to learn how to massage the clitoris, Yoni Eggs are a wonderful place to start.
And one thing I really like is massaging my clit with some of my Crystal Quartz Yoni Eggs. The cooling material is such a welcomed sensation when my womb gets to the fiery moments.
The clitoral orgasm
Some sources even say in Tantra, a clitoral orgasm travels up the front of the body and feels like a ‘high note’. Clitoral orgasms can also create a great gateway to other kinds of orgasms and even multiple orgasms. It’s a great celebration of the womb and female body in general!
Let me ask you this:
How many times was someone looking for your clit and got lost on the way? This is not the best way to stimulate the clitoris…
Yes, how to find the clitoris can be a problem for many people.
We all know what that feels like – “a bit higher, yes, yes, a bit to the left, almost there, almost there… and noooo… not there”. Sometimes this happens to a degree that your pleasure evaporates – there’s not much fun to be had in showing someone how to find your clitoris. But fear not, you can get some of my magic to help solve this problem.
Yes, locating the clitoris can be confusing and some adventurers can get pretty lost on the way. And yes, the path is the journey AND the destination… So don’t be shy… if the explorer is losing track of the goal, help them get there and enjoy the deliciousness of the arrival together. And if you simply enjoy the journey, look at it with curiosity and a fever for exploration.
The point of pleasure can be approached from different angles as every woman has her preference for either the clitoris’ glands or the body of the clitoris. It goes without saying that it’s best for you to discover the precise points of pleasure on your own through self-pleasure, dear lioness. And if you don’t want to reveal your findings to your lover – they will just have to find it by softly and carefully passing the tip of their finger over the tiny enigmatic surfaces of the clitoris.
When all is said and done, one thing is for sure – clitoral stimulation is not only great foreplay for lovemaking, it is love-making on its own.
And, not forgetting, a great base for those earth-shattering orgasms. Because, whether or not you believe it, women’s pleasure matters! Getting acquainted with the best way to stimulate the clitoris through self-exploration is the first step you need to take.
Why? Find out here.
So, goddess. I invite you to feel the freedom of spreading your legs, invite some yummie oil boobies on your breasts, dive into your pleasure center aka womb, and blend this mix of delicious feelings. Yum.
Bless your pleasure button… and go deeper.
For sweet pussy power.
Yours
Violeta Labella
p.s. in our pleasure program: LebensLust by Violeta Labella you’ll find more exploratory exercises for your pleasure tours. (Currently only in German.)
Books, meditations, and other goodies to take you deeper into your pleasure practice can be found in my shop.
